im back!

 Assalamualikum,

omg, im back. im totally back to do this blogging business. haha. Dah lama actually nak tulis blog, just I dont have the right moment to write one and I dont have the right time to write something good here. Mungkin aku tak nak jugak tulis merapu-rapu raban so tak lah org menyampah baca blog aku. As a good adviser to my own self, aku rasa tahun 2013 ni ialah The Best Year Ever. 

  why? course you know, I change a lot about myself this year. I do make very good improvement for myself (wipe tears) haha. Im glad, I really glad, course I can/efford face my own destiny without making any complaint. okey lah what? I through a lot of shit thing kot, mcm mcm tapi I dont know why but I feel really really proud to myself sebab tak pernah sekali pun berputus asa. 

( im sad as hell, I through alot so dont jugde me ) 

  Basic human being lah nagis, gelak, ketawa, senyum or ape ape lah yg involve emotion bukan mcm hantu(lawak kempus) tu tak termasuk emotion okey. haha. Atleast kita ni gelak gelak pun ingat lah dekat ALLAH taala kan, sebab org cakap gelak gelak sangat pun nnti nagis, ha ha ha. takot. 

  Let say jelah kan, I change a lot ( really a lot ) about myself. I completely change everything. Im afraid, but as an adult I have to do what I have to do. 

Ade tak pernah korang rasa, mcm malam malam susah nak tido terkenang ape yang korg buat dulu than rasa loya dlm perut, pastu kecut kecut perut sebab takot sgt ape yg akan jdi kat korg future nnti? 

I deal with this byk kali. sgt sgt byk kali. everytime nak tido waktu malam than sebelum nak tidur tu kita akan berangan dulu so mula lah kita kecut kecut perut sbb byk sgt memikir. Allahurabbi.....

bende yang selalu aku fikir?

- Am I gonna get married?
- who is my husband? ( if i get married lah ) 
- Am I gonna be rich?
- what is my occupation ?
- will people like me?
- Am I gonna get shot in a face with a pump gun? ( incase, haha )
- how long do I have to wait for my man to purpose me or to meet me?
- why am I keep asking myself about this shit?
- terkenang bende bende bodo yg aku buat dlu. pftt

and continue the same shit every single time I go to bed. Tapi dlm Islam, mama cakap ini dikira muhasabah diri. Kita rasa takut dengan ape yang akan jadi dekat kita dan berusaha utk do better next time. yup, sekurang kurang nya adalah skit rsa malu segan dengan org yang mencipta kita kan?

I dont know, mybe I have to continue motivate myself to push further than my comfort zone dont I? Its not selesa, but if I want to success than shit make my face as thick as fucking wall and just rampuh je ape ape pun. Ape ape pun kene set bukan org yang bgi kau mkn. 

p/s: im sorry for my mix rojak bahasa. comment below if you dont like mix words. I do something. tq :) 

BTW!

this is to my lovely friends name apy/firdaus/firdausapy

if you reading this, im begging pls forgive me. I was to young to think straight. saya mintak maaf. I just wanna be your friend like the old days. i do miss you. saya rindu apy. dont hate me. tq 

oh ya, mimi still keep your belonging. 

Self

   Why self? It been reputedly that everything came from inside you, you created your self and don't ever blame other. Hello, happy 2013 people. It nice to grow older and create our future right, especially when it goes to "Who are you". I kinda like that question indeed. Why ? Because I can ask my self who am I. Am I a sad loser fat ass that don't know my own future or am I a successful women that have millions of chance coming right up. 

  It give me goosebumps when I thought about it. Haha. It's been a WONDERFUL 2012 for me although we as a human had to go through several thing that we hated it. For example " left behind "  like you are not that important at all, like you have no feeling like other. I don't wanna talk about this. pftttt. Because Im not a storyteller person this is far as I can go. HAHA. before you start to yawning like hell, I will stop right here.


Happy 2013 everyone. Lets 2013 be your wonderful year (: